Birthdays always make me feel happy ,on high and all charged up, no
matter what age, what place, what situation, I am in ...... I am sure
lot of people feel that way.
Since yesterday when my First Birthday message came in, I have been thinking about ...my life, what I want, & so on....... Thinking of what the year will be like, I suddenly felt instead of ‘wait & watch approach’, after taking an inventory of my life, I should plan what My Year will be like. That way even if things won’t always workout as I want them to ,they will still go in the same direction as I planned, to some extent.
Somewhere in our life we all want too much ,too soon, too fast. I feel , we all more or less do that first time, when we are at the threshold of becoming an Adult, rearing to go on our own, with full force & no second thoughts. And the second time is when we have a go at Life( a fresh start), all over again ( at whatever age that may happen).
I am rearing to go again, for the second round of life: as full of dreams and aspirations as the first time. The difference is that the first time around, I didn’t have much clue about the life , but the thought of failure never entered my head, and this time around, I Do know more about life in general but ,and perhaps because of that, I am more scared of failures. Anyways.....
The First question is : Where to start, how to choose & what to choose?....As I said earlier, there are times when we want too much ,too soon, & I Do know that I want a lot & fast...... I don’t want life to pass me by anymore & I can’t wait.... for time is ticking away. Ok, Inventory time.....
Let me have a look at ‘Me’ first. There are Two things... firstly, I am a woman who has, mostly, made choices in life, so far , keeping others in mind first. So should I continue doing that? Or ....should I start keeping ‘Me’ first Now ? Would that bring me closer to what I want /need / deserve/ expect from life? Secondly, See, I am not a 18-20 year old woman , full of vigour, physical & mental, starting off now with a life time ahead of me, so are my expectations, desires realistic enough to be realized? Are my wishes doable? Or Mere dreams with eyes open...
How to find out? Who can tell ? If only we could see the future...Life will be so easy to handle, decisions so simple to make.....
Then ,of course ,there is always this argument ( voiced by others, mostly) that .....don’t I already have a direction in life & progressed on it long enough to continue on the same path? So, Where is the need to start on a new path, to want something new or different at this juncture of my life? Yaa, looking at the fact that I am not a 18-20 year old woman anymore this argument makes lot of sense, and its safe and easy way out.....
But then my heart throws a parallel argument that... at that age I didn’t have the choices which I have now, I could not do what I wanted, so why shouldn't I do it now?......& more so, I don’t want a safe way Out, I want to be IN......so, Why not ?
To ask or Not to ask,from life what I desire, is a Big question right now ...... or may be the Real Question is : What to ask & what Not to ask.......... Hmmm....I haven’t found the answer/s till now, I am going to let my brain work on it for some more time & come up with options.....
But there is no question about the fact in my mind that In the meantime, I am going to Enjoy My Day, & Have Fun ......Happy Birthday To Me.
Since yesterday when my First Birthday message came in, I have been thinking about ...my life, what I want, & so on....... Thinking of what the year will be like, I suddenly felt instead of ‘wait & watch approach’, after taking an inventory of my life, I should plan what My Year will be like. That way even if things won’t always workout as I want them to ,they will still go in the same direction as I planned, to some extent.
Somewhere in our life we all want too much ,too soon, too fast. I feel , we all more or less do that first time, when we are at the threshold of becoming an Adult, rearing to go on our own, with full force & no second thoughts. And the second time is when we have a go at Life( a fresh start), all over again ( at whatever age that may happen).
I am rearing to go again, for the second round of life: as full of dreams and aspirations as the first time. The difference is that the first time around, I didn’t have much clue about the life , but the thought of failure never entered my head, and this time around, I Do know more about life in general but ,and perhaps because of that, I am more scared of failures. Anyways.....
The First question is : Where to start, how to choose & what to choose?....As I said earlier, there are times when we want too much ,too soon, & I Do know that I want a lot & fast...... I don’t want life to pass me by anymore & I can’t wait.... for time is ticking away. Ok, Inventory time.....
Let me have a look at ‘Me’ first. There are Two things... firstly, I am a woman who has, mostly, made choices in life, so far , keeping others in mind first. So should I continue doing that? Or ....should I start keeping ‘Me’ first Now ? Would that bring me closer to what I want /need / deserve/ expect from life? Secondly, See, I am not a 18-20 year old woman , full of vigour, physical & mental, starting off now with a life time ahead of me, so are my expectations, desires realistic enough to be realized? Are my wishes doable? Or Mere dreams with eyes open...
How to find out? Who can tell ? If only we could see the future...Life will be so easy to handle, decisions so simple to make.....
Then ,of course ,there is always this argument ( voiced by others, mostly) that .....don’t I already have a direction in life & progressed on it long enough to continue on the same path? So, Where is the need to start on a new path, to want something new or different at this juncture of my life? Yaa, looking at the fact that I am not a 18-20 year old woman anymore this argument makes lot of sense, and its safe and easy way out.....
But then my heart throws a parallel argument that... at that age I didn’t have the choices which I have now, I could not do what I wanted, so why shouldn't I do it now?......& more so, I don’t want a safe way Out, I want to be IN......so, Why not ?
To ask or Not to ask,from life what I desire, is a Big question right now ...... or may be the Real Question is : What to ask & what Not to ask.......... Hmmm....I haven’t found the answer/s till now, I am going to let my brain work on it for some more time & come up with options.....
But there is no question about the fact in my mind that In the meantime, I am going to Enjoy My Day, & Have Fun ......Happy Birthday To Me.
- Jun 23, 2009 7:36 PM
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